


Hemlock

by eternal_song



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: And how he died, Gen, Hence the title, Mention of Socrates, mentions of offscreen death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:37:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4870353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternal_song/pseuds/eternal_song
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A familiar conversation under very different circumstances</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hemlock

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as an assignment for a creative writing class. The assignment was to take the first scene of a book and place it in a different place and time. That's right, folks! In college, you can get credit for writing fanfic! Some of the text, mostly dialogue, is directly from the book.  
> Enjoy! Feedback is appreciated

The weather in Athens was warm and clear. It had been so, for most of the summer thus far. A light breeze blew in from the Mediterranean, keeping the worst of the summer heat at bay. The taste of sea salt lingered in the air, resting on the tongues of the Athenian people. In the distance, however, dark storm clouds could be seen roiling over the water. A tempest worthy of Poseidon was on its way.

Two figures stood at the edge of the agora, and the blonde one ducked under an overhang as the first raindrops fell.

“I’m sorry,” he said politely, “what was it you were saying?”

“I said, that one went down like a lead balloon,” said the other man, if in fact he was a man. Those looking at him couldn’t help thinking of dark scales and sharp, poisonous fangs.

“Oh. Yes.” Said the first man who, in contrast to his companion, gave off the impression of ineffable mercy and soft feathers. His name was Aziraphale.

“I think it was a bit of an overreaction, to be honest,” said the other man, mischievous eyes glinting yellow in the wan light. “I mean, considering his students were the ones causing the real trouble. I can’t see what’s so bad about teaching people to think for themselves.”

“It must be bad,” reasoned Aziraphale, in the slightly concerned tones of one who can’t see it either, and is worrying about it, “otherwise you wouldn’t have been involved.”

“I just had a few drinks with the man and told him all about my views about blindly following along with whatever the Big Guy tells you to do and think,” said the other man, whose name was Crowley, and had been since almost the Beginning. He’d changed quite a lot since then, at least physically.

“Yes, but you’re a demon. I’m not sure if it’s possible for you to have been anything other than a bad influence,” said Aziraphale, with all the confidence that divine righteousness brings. “It’s down to your basic, you know, nature. Nothing personal, you understand.”

“You’ve got to admit it’s a bit of a pantomime, though,” said Crowley. “Encouraging all these great thinkers and then getting upset when they start questioning the people in charge. Doesn’t make much sense, does it? I mean, why not just tell then ‘you can have all the breakthroughs in math and philosophy that you want, but no politics.’ Makes you wonder if they thought this through.”

“Best not to speculate, really,” said Aziraphale. “You can’t just do your own thing without consideration for others. If you start questioning authority enough to incite a rebellion, you deserve to be punished. Er.”

They stood in embarrassed silence, watching the first few raindrops land on the stone paving.

Eventually, Crowley said, “Say, where did they get the idea for the Hemlock, anyway?”

“Er,” said the angel. A guilty expression passed across his face, then came back and camped there.

“I mean, usually they’re all for shackling people to a cross by the neck and hands and letting them dangle. Hemlock seems awfully kind in comparison.”

“Er, well-”

“They even let him do it himself, with his friends around.”

“Yes, but, well-”

“And the stuff’s awfully expensive. Hard to grow.”

“He didn’t deserve to be strangled to death, the poor old man-”

“Oh? Did you have a say in this?”

Aziraphale looked wretched. “If you must know,” he said, a trifle testily, “I gave them the idea.”

Crowley stared at him.

“Well, I had to,” said the angel, rubbing his hands distractedly. “HE wasn’t a bad person, and it’s so barbaric, shackling people to wooden beams and letting them suffocate, and I thought, well, where’s the harm, so I went up to those three who put him on trial in the first place and said, look, there’s no stopping you from killing him, but he’s old already and his friends have a lot of influence, so just do everyone a big favor and let him die with his dignity.”

He gave Crowley a worried grin.

“That was the best course, wasn’t it?”

“I’m not sure it’s actually possible for you to be anything but a good influence,” said Crowley sarcastically. Aziraphale didn’t notice the tone.

“Oh, I do hope so,” he said. “It’s been worrying me all afternoon.”

They watched the rain for a while.

“Funny thing is,” said Crowley, “I keep wondering whether encouraging him wasn’t the right thing to do. A demon can get in real trouble, doing the right thing.” He nudged the angel. “Funny if we both got it wrong, eh? Funny if I did the good thing and you did the bad one, eh?”

“Not really,” said Aziraphale.

Crowley looked up at the rain.

“No,” he said, sobering up. “I suppose not.”

Slate black curtains fell over Athens. Thunder echoed through the agora. The citizens of the city-state, reluctant to get wet, hurried into their homes.

In another part of the city, the body of an old man was being prepared as the cremation fires flickered to life.

It was going to be a dark and stormy night.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, my first time publishing a fic! Exciting! 
> 
> Some explanations:  
> Socrates ended up on trial because some of his students staged two separate coups. He was given the opportunity to suggest an alternate punishment, but declined to provide a satisfactory suggetion. Instead, he sarcastically suggested that he be rewarded for his actions.  
> Source: www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/socrates.htm
> 
> And yes, in Athens the common punishment of the time was a bloodless crucifixion. It is thought that Socrates only managed to escape this fate because so many of his friends were wealthy.  
> Source: www.stoa.org/projects/demos/article_punishment?page=5&greekEncoding 
> 
> Athens was unique among the Greek city-states in that they cremated their dead.  
> Source: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_Greek_funeral_and_burial_practices


End file.
